It seems now that I've finally moved away from the home I grew up in, and on my own, I am feeling myself out a lot more.  No longer do I have this anxiety and dread about coming home to the stress triggers I used to have.  I now am in my own apartment, by myself, and come home to nothing - and I love it.

A few of my co-workers have asked if I feel homesick, and maybe it is too early to say that I'm not - but I don't feel it.  There's so much to do, and now I have all the time in the world to be on my own, to be in a quiet place and find out what I'm really all about it.  When my parents asked about my reason to move I just said I needed the space, at the time it was a convenient excuse but now see the truth in it as well.  I need space for myself, and am making the most of it.

I used to live in Los Angeles, and admit to being a BIG CITY girl yet decided on the valley (Simi Valley) to move to.  Of course now instead of having a 10 minute surface street commute I have a 40 minute freeway commute.  Yet I get to see the gorgeous sunrises and sunsets during the week, and those are always wonderful and ALWAYS different each and every time.  I was daredevilish and took some pictures while driving so when I find my transfer cable (in one of the many boxes I packed) I'll post some pictures up.  Living in Simi I am also closer to the mountains, and for those who haven't dwelled for long periods in the city you might understand my fascination with actual blue skies (not brown skies because of the smog), my new found ability to see the stars and moon clearly, view the mountain sides all around me, and breath that fresh air.  It's relaxing and wonderful!  Especially working in the city during the week it is nice to come home to a place where the pace is a bit slower and things seem so much calmer.

I have to admit that there was some nervousness, but it was a good nervousness.  Venturing into unknown territory does that to a person, yet once an unknown route is traversed and I've never been out on my own in my life.  Now I'm in charge of myself and my apartment, and it is nice ... I feel kinda grown up ... but not all there yet.  Sure I'm 34 and I suppose you could say I ventured out of the 'nest' a bit late, but better late then never I suppose.  I'm just proud of myself for being able to do this all on my own, I didn't think I had it in me but I guess something inside me just wanted to show me I could.

Well I'm outta here for now, I'm at a Starbucks enjoying a nice Zen tea and a girl is celebrating her birthday by throwing her own prom.