August 14, 2005

  • You know, with everything going around me I feel a serious lack of substance to my life overall.  I look around and everything seems so lack luster.  The same actions play in my life day after day after day.  Work and home, with the addition of going out somewhere every once in a while.  What the hell is this?  I ask myself this sometimes as I am looking at my hand in disbelief that I have a hand and I control what it does. 


    And, as much as my hand is under my control - so am I.  Yet I let myself go wild and unruly all over the place unchecked.  There are days when I yearn to be straight and narrow.  Almost perfect you know - but the inner turmoil inside of me betrays that ideaology.  It eventually erupts and spills over the smooth facade that I am trying to keep together.


    I woke up the other day towards the late evening and it hit me then.  I want the ordinary life.  Nothing spectacular or showy.  As I have said once before some time ago.  I want to come home to someone.  Or wake up and see them there doing the most ordinary thing ... reading a book ... or napping ... or whatever.  I want to feel that warmth that comes from sharing a life so closely, from knowing that there is someone there at the end of it all .


     

Comments (11)

  • Oh, you're not going to like me. News flash! There is no such thing as the simple life. Not as long as we are in it anyway.

  • Nah. I know exactly what you're talking about. It's the contentment won, a consequence of love. I think that no matter how lackluster as you put it so accurately life is, when you have that someone there for you, it's something to really depend on, the one thing that's possibly consistent in your life. I don't know how exactly to explain it. But it fills you. It really really does.

    Eh, don't take my word though. I have to wait a fricken year. Pffft!

  • If that is what you want, I'm sure that you will get it. It's all a matter of time, that's all you have to remember.

  • Said in love and affection--you have choices, make them! Someone once told me, "Life isn't a gift box dropped in our lap, make of life what you want!" Much love to you.

  • go wash the dishes until its magical.

  • i thought i had an ordinary life at last ... problem was, it wasn't mine

  • I LOVE YOU GIRL,SHEILA

  • I think we're looking for some of the same things, lady.  <3

  • Well good luck in that 'ordinary' life, I'm not sure it exists anymore... What's that?  Someone to share with... hmmm Now that's an idea... I'll have to think about that! -jo

  • Its truly an amazing feeling.  I know that a lot of women are looking for romance and so much different and not ordinary.  But all I want is to go home and see Mike there, his hair a mess, the dishes still in the sink, and him getting up to come and kiss me when I walk in the door.  All I want is to know that he's going to drive me crazy, and I will drive him crazy, and we won't make love as often as we once did... but every night I go to sleep listning to him snore (yes, snore!) and it sounds like music.  And that's all I want from life.  I want every grey hair that I get to be one that has come up while I worry what he thinks of it.  I just want him, every day, ordinary, life. 

  • Awesome header! Awesome awesome awesome!  Oh, and...now that life lost it's luster ....or its dullness has gotten your attention, it will be changing soon.  Just know it and it will.  I say, light a candle and promise yourself that in this moment you are all that you can be, all that you want to be and life is beautiful. Because it is.  Someone will come.  My fingers are crossed (for both of us). In their own time. It will happen. 

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