February 28, 2005

• Usually I don't feel sharing quiz results is an interesting topic to post about.  But after taking THIS quiz, well it points to some areas with which I am struggling myself.  Things and ways of being that I want to move beyond.  The results I got are below, and the paragraph that hit the nail on the head is the third one. 

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

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  You work hard, seeking success.  You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.  You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative.  You know that you can 'do it' and what is more, you will - without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.

  
  

  You are very talented and sensitive but you are holding back as you do not really like going it 'on your own.'  In preference you would like to team up with someone, someone with similar attributes as your own, to explore - to seek out and go perhaps 'where no man has gone before.'  It is the unusual that attracts you and which will give you a sense of excitement and adventure.

  
  

  You are a rather inhibited sort of a person.  This could be the result of your upbringing or of your schooling, whatever.  You are able to obtain satisfaction from various forms of physical or emotional activity but all in all you are inclined to be emotionally withdrawn.  As a consequence of this you find it difficult to sustain any deep involvement.

  
  

  You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you.  You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others.  You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full.  You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

  
  

  You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences.  You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference.  Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material.

  
  

  
  

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  To put it simply, maybe I am just an emotionally challenged, over achieving and stubborn woman - true managerial material !?! LOL!  Though it is the emotionally challenged part that bothers me the most.  I have felt that way my entire life, like there is something that is seperating me from the rest of humanity and I don't know what it is. 

  
  

  As a young girl I isolated myself from people because of the intense feelings being so close to them brought to me.  Not that I would sympathize with their plight or feel for them, but I was them.  Which is why I began hurting myself.  To feel something that was my own and nobody else's.  To let out that which was not mine and have it dissipate into the world. 

  
  

  Things are turning around now though, but the seperation is still there.  There are days still when I wake up and I don't even feel human.  Does anyone else have days like that?  Days where you don't even know what you are, and what you see before you in the mirror seems like a lie?  Thoughts like that have plagued me for years, and it is now that I find the voice for them.  That I can honestly say that what you see, and what I see is not me at all. 

  
  

  I want to reach the point where what is within me rushes out like some untamed torrent.  To just be.  I know that some will say to just do what I feel, yet that is one of the hardest things I can do.  And at the same time the reality of what is within me is ready to burst out and take flight.  I have suppressed it for so long that it is like breathing to hold back.  I don't want that anymore.  There is so much more than what you have seen, read, heard and felt from me.  So much beyond what I have put out there.  It is only a matter of time now before this cup runneth over ...

  • 12:12 pm
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